The Impossible Dream

"You must teach me to do this. I can't believe you've done this. You must show me how." 

I respond, "I will show you how as soon as I know how I did it. I literally opened my eyes and was levitating off the ground. I do not know what happened."

My friend and I come to a hallway at work where he must turn left and I right. We go our separate ways. As I leave I assure him I will look into what has happened and keep him updated.

On my ride home I am pondering (desperately searching) sorting my thoughts for rational explanations of being able to float up and off the floor. I wonder how to repeat this levitation. I can't begin to conceive a plan of action for this. I arrive at home and quickly move to my room. This is where I was meditating the day before when the event took place. My carpet is, as usual, unimpressive. Per the norm my desk is seemingly normal. The small chair I sit in is every bit void of special powers as the first day I bought it. It is just my room. I sit down.

I close my eyes and immediately drift into a meditative state. I feel God meet me. I ask him,

"How do I do this and what do I tell my friend?" God responds,

"For you gravity is reality. Based on everything you know what goes up must come down. You cannot defy gravity on your own. This is how you see it and so this is your reality, correct?" I nod in agreement as he goes on,

"When you come here to this place, this internal place, where you know with your heart - here you commune with me. It is in this place you share my reality. My reality is that I know every law of physics. I know gravity is not the only option and beyond that I am Creator. Should I choose to defy gravity that choice is mine. It is here where you know that all I have and all I am has been given to you. My reality has been given to you. When your heart believes that my reality is your reality then in my capacity you defy all that holds you down. Tell your friend to come and meet with me."

I wake up. -

A couple of nights later...

I'm running down a hallway. The walls seem to be made of some mist like substance and they're white, pure white. It's clear that I'm running from something. As I run the something pushes in on the walls peering through in brief moments. I see glimpses. The image of it blurred, the voices speaking hazed and unintelligible. I keep running. The further I run the stronger this outsider becomes. It breaks through more and more. Finally when I can run no more all comes bursting into my space. The mist and haze vanish. There is nothing unclear here. I am present with the Father. When I realize where I am I am shocked. Seeing who this intruder is I make an apology,

"Oh it's you, what is it you want to say?" He leans in and the one who loves me says, 

"I want you to prosper"    

I wake up. -

I was going to explain what I thought was the significance of these dreams. I do believe they go together. Instead I would like to hear from my readers. If you had these dreams what would they mean to you?

- Latsum

To the Bone.

   I was ask to contribute some writing at a service based on the passage below and on some time spent in a rough neighborhood down town. It's a little long and definitely based in my beliefs but resulted in some really good self assessment that I think could be good for us all.

Ezekiel 37:1-14 - The Valley of Dry Bones

The hand of the Lord came upon me, and he brought me out by the spirit of the Lord and set me down in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me all round them; there were very many lying in the valley, and they were very dry. He said to me, ‘Mortal, can these bones live?’ I answered, ‘O Lord God, you know.’ Then he said to me, ‘Prophesy to these bones, and say to them: O dry bones, hear the word of theLord. Thus says the Lord God to these bones: I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am the Lord.’

So I prophesied as I had been commanded; and as I prophesied, suddenly there was a noise, a rattling, and the bones came together, bone to its bone. I looked, and there were sinews on them, and flesh had come upon them, and skin had covered them; but there was no breath in them. Then he said to me, ‘Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, mortal, and say to the breath: Thus says the Lord God: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe upon these slain, that they may live.’ I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood on their feet, a vast multitude.

Then he said to me, ‘Mortal, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, “Our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost; we are cut off completely.” Therefore prophesy, and say to them, Thus says the LordGod: I am going to open your graves, and bring you up from your graves, O my people; and I will bring you back to the land of Israel. And you shall know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves, and bring you up from your graves, O my people. I will put my spirit within you, and you shall live, and I will place you on your own soil; then you shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken and will act, says the Lord.’

A Different Street.

Chapter One.

   I walk down a street. There is a deep hole. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two

   I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend not to see it. I can't believe I'm in the same place again. It is not my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three

   I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it there. I still fall in. It is a habit. My eyes are opened. I recognize where I am.  It is my fault.  I get out immediately.   

Chapter Four

   I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I walk around it.

Chapter Five

   I walk down a different street.

         Author unknown - Quoted from a class lecture by Dr. James B. Richards

   Okay, so those of you who know me know that I am not a politics kind of guy.  If I were to show up to a conversation on politics I would quite literally be talking out of my hat. As in little political phrases I found online scribbled on ripped up paper stored in my hat. Me praying that what ever I draw out is applicable to what we're talking about. You sitting across from me trying not to show on your face that you think I'm a total idiot.

   That said, I am pretty interested in all that is happening in Egypt and Libya right now. I am also, from my very uneducated perception, pretty thrilled with what we, the U.S. are doing about it. We're not really doing anything. We seem to be waiting and letting those folks build they're own stories. I hope it sticks, both the revolution and our involvement.

   All ready in my circle of friends I hear a lot of insisting that they need our help. My Christian friends seem to think that the rebels are waisting they're time because they don't have Jesus,

"They'll never make it because God won't let them."  

   I find that pretty lame and honestly contradictory to the bible we claim.  Do we actually read that thing or what?  

   My military buddies insist that only the good ol' U.S.A. knows true democracy. My friend Bob pointed out something interesting though.  In response he said,

"We have only to offer the mistakes we made ourselves.  I mean  the American Revolution didn't exactly go great and lets not even talk about our ideas of democracy that lead to the Civil War.  If you need more proof than that then let's look at current day Iraq." - paraphrased. 

Not a lot of responses were given in return.

   I'm not trying to toot the current governmental horn here. As stated I'm not really qualified for that. I do however want to point out an opportunity we have to learn from our world's events. We have a chance to walk down a different street.

   How can we support our brothers and sisters? Not our American family and Religious families, though they are important, I mean our Libyan family, our cousins in Iraq, our beloved humans in Afghanistan, (or any other country in the whole world) our Brothers and Sisters of Mankind.  

   Can we pray for they're success outside of insisting on conversion or western thinking? Can we come along'side the world around us with out saying - You need what I have - and instead support them in building they're own legacies, they're own cultures, they're own stories.

   Consider this, 

Fellowship: A bound binding us beyond our cultural, religious, social and political views.  

   Can we fellowship? And especially for my Christian family - I cannot find a place where our Jesus ask anyone to believe in him before he helped them. Miracles and Justice were always offered only because he loved us.

   - Latsum

Learning How to Share.

Proverbs 1: 1-6 (Not just for my Christian Family) - "A Manual for Living - These are the wise sayings of Solomon, David's son, Israel's king—Written down so we'll know how to live well and right, to understand what life means and where it's going; A manual for living, for learning what's right and just and fair; To teach the inexperienced the ropes and give our young people a grasp on reality.There's something here also for seasoned men and women, still a thing or two for the experienced to learn—Fresh wisdom to probe and penetrate, the rhymes and reasons of wise men and women."

   I am hesitant to write this particular blog. I promised some I would try not to be overly churchy.  And I've found, as you can read in "Being Selfish," that the more I write the more self conscious I become.  I know that it's important to be who you are. I know that we each need to be confident in our beliefs and to speak out on what we think is important. Really though, are any of us not a little worried about the muddled mess expression has become?  In the proverbic words of Run-D.M.C. "It's tricky."

   This is exactly what I think of when I read the above proverb (the actual Proverb.) It makes me sad when I read the wisdom of the words I find in my Bible. When I read through the Bible's proverbs I realize that they are just as the intro says - a manual for living. So what makes me sad?

   The Christian community, myself included, is a significant contributor to that muddled mess of expression. It's become a dangerous place to say what's really on your mind and it can cost you heavily if you run in the church crowd. 

   Try this experiment; tell someone who is not of the Christian faith a bit of wisdom from the proverbs. Find a way to put it in todays verbiage. They will likely nod their head and happily agree with you. Then mention that you read it from the bible or got it from church. Notice how the tone of the conversation changes. 

   We have for so long made the wisdom of our beliefs about us and about being right. We've enforced those ideas by excommunicating people, judging people and butchering the emotional state of anyone who is not one of us. 

   Other proverbs found in belief systems from all over the world look very similar to ours. Just try that little experiment on one of us. See how many Christians would tell you that your identical wisdom is going to send you to hell because you didn't get it from our Bible.

   I'm not talking religion here. I am not trying to promote universalism. Those are topics for another day. What I am saying is that wisdom is wisdom. Good teaching is good no matter where it came from. It makes me sad that we (Christians) have so jaded our contributions with our own agendas that the great wisdoms we have to offer are often disregarded and in some circles down right despised.

   In my travels I've found pockets of people who have discovered these same things. Some of us are trying to live lives not centered around ourselves. I hope the idea of giving freely what we have will grow. The Bible's proverbs have a tremendous amount of basic and very applicable wisdom. From jobs, to relationships, to money, and success, to peace and love, they are full of really good ideas.

   Can we grab hold of the central belief in Christianity that life is not about us? That it is about love. Can we learn to share what we have freely? Can we offer the goodness given (freely I might add) to us to anyone and everyone regardless of whether they do or don't believe in our Jehovah?

   We claim Christianity is about love, that God is love. What is more loving than to give the good we have with out condition?

- Latsum


P.S. - No, "proverbic" is not a word. I made it up. Yay for the joys of creation.

Being Selfish.

   I am afraid people will get bored reading what I write. I shared writing a blog once with someone else. A friend of mine read an article in that blog that the other person had written. Later I ask the reader what they thought. She replied,

   "I stopped reading because your blog was kinda boring." (Honesty sucks)

   I know for sure she was speaking of my fellow author and yet that statement sticks with me. A comment not intended for me and yet it still haunts me. Am I boring? (Please don't leave comments assuring me. That's not what I'm getting at.)

   I wrote a book this year. A memoirs of sorts. I am very afraid that my life experiences are just that, they're mine. They will not mean to anyone else the things they mean to me. No one will really care about what I have to say.

   I measure writing's worth up against this standard; if no one is reading then it isn't valuable. For instance I wrote and published "Define" a few days ago. It's gathered 15 views in the week it's been available.  I then published "What Do You Think of That" it garnered only half the views of my previous post. It's hard not to measure the value of what I do based on who responds to it.

   Is it possible that I struggle with not being selfish, with doings things for me? I don't write for me. I write for others to know about me.  Why? Can I find satisfaction in writing just for the sake of writing? I don't know. I have not so far and I've been writing since I was a wee-tyke. (like I was ever wee)

   How much does this affect the rest of my life? Can I love God and live out my beliefs because they are good for me? What if they don't affect some one else? Would I sing my songs for me? What if the only satisfaction I ever had from work, diet, exercise, hobbies, etc... is that they are good, just essentially good things to do? I'll be honest this idea scares me to death. I struggle with doing anything if it doesn't somehow garner attention from someone else.

   Could it be, Joe Davenport, king of conversation, confident to the point of being cocky, I, who thrive in groups of strangers, bare my soul on stage for thousands to see, am really on the inside afraid? Afraid of not having worth, of doing a good job, of being liked, of being boring. Do I do what I do to prove other wise? Would I write this blog if no one read it? Do I ask these questions to find an answer or because it gives me something to write about and in return may bring you back to read some more?

   I won't lie. I told you earlier not to leave comments but secretly I'm hoping you do.

   I've let myself ramble my fears in this blog. I hope you see them for what they really are. The truth is that these things are what I've been thinking about since I wrote and published "Define." It has forced me to reconsider why I do what I do.  

   Can I truly be grateful for the beauty of an event if I cannot see that event for what it truly is? Can I really know the joy of writing if I do not experience it free of external benefits? Can I strip away my dual motives? Can I create for the sake of creation and not because it will make you think I'm cooler than I really am?

   I believe that fulfillment comes from doing what you do to the best of your ability. Is it possible to give your best to anything you do if you do not experience what you do pure of what it will grant you from someone else?

   I changed my moniker from Ragged ( a story for later ) to Latsum - a latin compound meaning "to be Gratitude." Can I truly embody gratefulness if I do not know what it means to enjoy and love myself just because it's good to be me, good to do what I do?  

   To be perfectly honest I'm having a hard time asking those questions with out hoping it will make you read my blog more.  This may be a tougher road than I had anticipated.

-Joe (Latsum)

Define.

   I lay in a bed. My sheets and linens are white. The room is white but it's shadowed, not dark but dim. Sitting next to me is an old woman I've never seen before. She's asking me questions. I'm not in pain and I'm not old but I'm pretty sure I may be on my death bed. She asks me something else, "What are you?" I respond, 

"I am a Gratitude." - I wake up.

   I heard of a study where a man's DNA was placed in a petri dish. The man was then hooked up to a computer to do various testing. His petri dish of DNA was then taken into a different room and hooked up to a different computer to see if the DNA would respond to the tests being done on the man. Even though it had been removed from his body his DNA responded in perfect sync with him as they tested the man. Each time the tests were run they moved the dish further away. They had no change in results up to four miles away.

   We believe we all come from Adam. That means somewhere in our complex systems we all share threads of common DNA. In theory everything we do, everything we go through, all the various emotions we have, if even in a minute way, affect every one around us. That is dumb-founding when you consider the compounding affects it would have as people come and go from one place to another. They are passing along the affects you had on them as they go.

    I went for a walk today thinking about the dream I had. It was such an odd statement - "I am a Gratitude." What does it mean to not just be grateful but to become gratefulness incarnate? To not just feel the emotion of gratitude but instead be the very essence of it.  I am gratitude. Yet, that isn't really what I said, not completely. I said I am (a) gratitude, as if there could be more than one, as if I was not an essence but rather a thing.

Consider these definitions:

Hope: the confident expectation of good to come. (not the same as the word wish we often exchange it with.)

The Glory of God: The view and opinion of God.

Humility in reference to God: To cease believing what you believe about yourself and instead believe the glory of God, his view and opinion of you.

   We believe that the Kingdom of God is now. That every promise Christ qualified for is given to us now, here on this earth. We hope (or confidently expect) that as we press into our God the reality of His Kingdom will come from inside us overflowing into our daily lives. We believe that we can throw away our old man (our views and doubts) and replace them with a new man who stands firm in Christ bathed in the view and opinion of God. (His Glory)

   The word says that when Christ redeemed man that God counted it as a gain. The God who never changes, the God that has not a shadow of turning was added to by the redemption of man. That's a doozy of a paradox. It certainly makes me reconsider God's view and opinion of us. The Bible also says that God dances over us with song, that he daily gives us good for our lives, that he scourers the earth in pursuit of us. We are loved.

   All this thinking leads me to understand what it means to be a Gratitude. I can heap all of my self doubt, all my fears, sickness, poverty, hatred, sorrows, and my every affliction on the floor and just walk away from them. I can hold onto a promise secured in Christ that I live in the Kingdom now. That God is ravenously in love with me. That every day every good thing I need to succeed in every thing that I do is mine. All ready given to me. I need not listen to the voices in my head or pay any attention to the condemnation of sin. I don't believe anything but the hope of good things to come. For this I am so deeply grateful.

   I will ponder these things. I will meditate on this. I will make this my focus. I will receive all the Spirit has for me. I will become a point in this universe in which all that is brought to me is filtered through the Glory of God. I will take in all that comes to me in my four mile circle and every where I go I will funnel it through the Hope of God.  I will bathe it in the realities of the Kingdom and then send it right back out to everyone around me.

A Gratitude: A being capable of filtering all it receives until it reflects the view and opinion of the loving Father.

I am a Gratitude.  - Latsum